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From Findus Press Office:
Sign in a café window in Leeds: “Burger, Cup of Tea, and a Kindly Word — £1”An elderly lady walks in and orders the burger and tea and when served asks “and what about the kindly word”The waitress replies ” If I were you, I wouldn’t touch that burger”
The Dyson Airblade is rapidly becoming the Boeing 787 of hand dryers.
Fortunately the owner of this one was able to find an alternative method of use:
Thanks to Chris Ormston from the Group for People Who Appreciate Quality Hand-Dryers, a very active and informative appreciation society.
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office.
“Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?”
“‘Yes, I’m afraid so,”‘ the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, “I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked ‘NO REFILLS’.”
Seniors are not the only ones who have trouble paying attention to what’s going on.
First-year students at the Purdue Vet School were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, “In Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor.
The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal’s body.” For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth.
“Go ahead and do the same thing,” he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow, then puling it out and putting it in his mouth.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, “The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life’s tough but it’s even tougher if you’re stupid.”
A fellow Senior packs it in. Here’s what they’re saying:
