Political Wisdom

AesopAesop

We hang petty thieves and appoint the great thieves to public office.

Aesop, Greek slave and fabled author

 

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

Plato, ancient Greek Philosopher

 

When I was a boy, I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.

Quoted in ‘Clarence Darrow for the Defense’ by Irving Stone.

 

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

~John Quinton, American actor/writer

 

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.

Oscar Ameringer, “the Mark Twain of American Socialism.”

 

I offered my opponents a deal: “if they stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them.”

Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952

 

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

Texas Guinan. 19th century American businessman

 

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

Charles de Gaulle, French general & politician

 

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

Doug Larson, 1902-1981 (English runner who won gold medals at the 1924 Olympic Games in Paris.)

The bitter taste of poor quality linger long after the sweet taste

of a low price is forgotten

 

Why men love gadgets

Gadgets

Gadgets obey.

Even when no one is listening to you — wife, kids, anyone else — your gadgets will listen.

Gadgets are simple to please. Simply push a button, the gadget is satisfied.

What’s wrong with Second Place?

Second Place

Live Longer & Better: 10 question quiz in Parade Magazine

S Live Longer Parade Mag

What’s the best way to motivate yourself to be physically active after age 40?

[a]  Join a gym

[b]  Adopt a dog

[d]  Cut out a photo of first lady Michelle Obama’s bicepts

[d]  Hire a personal trainer

Click here for the anwer to this question as well as nine other questions about your health:  http://www.parade.com/news/quiz2/live-longer-better-quiz.html

Lost interest in sex?

A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued St. Luke’s hospital, saying that after her husband was treated there recently, he had lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied, “Mr. Maynard was actually admitted in Ophthalmology — all we did was correct his eyesight.”
S eye sight test

Bingo winner at the seniors’ center

Bingo at the seniors center

Answer to age-old question

Bear in woods

Post Turtle

post turtle

A rancher is talking about politics with a young man from the city. He compares a politician to a “post turtle.” The young man doesn’t understand and asks him what’s a post turtle.

The rancher says, “When you’re driving down a country road and you see a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a post turtle.”

“You know he didn’t get up there by himself. He doesn’t belong there. He can’t get anything done while he’s up there. You just want to help the poor, dumb thing down.”

http://test.skimlinks.com

 

Shopping at Tesco . . .

 

 

 

Breaking News: Elderly man stopped by police at 2:00 a.m.

Elderly man stopped at 2-00 a.m.

An elderly man was stopped by police around 2:00 a.m. and asked where he was going at that time of night.

“I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effect it has on the human body as well as smoking and staying out late.”

The office then asked, “Really who’d be giving that lecture at this time of night?”

“That would be my wife.”