Senior Wedding Preparations

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Miami, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob asks the pharmacist behind the counter, “Are you the owner?”

The pharmacist answers, “Yes.”

Jacob: “We’re about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?”

Pharmacist: “Of course, we do.”

Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”

Pharmacist: “All kinds.”

Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism?”

Pharmacist: “Definitely.”

Jacob: “How about suppositories?”

Pharmacist: “You bet!”

Jacob: “Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer’s?”

Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety. The Works.”

Jacob: “What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson’s disease?”

Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”

Jacob: “Everything for heartburn and indigestion?”

Pharmacist: “We sure do.”

Jacob: “You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?”

Pharmacist: “All speeds and sizes.”

Jacob: “Adult diapers?”

Pharmacist: “Sure.”

Jacob: “Great, we’d like to use this store as our Bridal Registry.”

New Assisted LIving Plan

NEW ASSISTED LIVING PLAN

So if you’re a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you,

What do you do?

Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and four bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Congressmen in the ass. [Read more…]

Senility Prayer

Swiss Army Watches

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Fear of Getting Older

Older Women

 

I’ll confess… I ended up with an older woman at a bar last night. She

looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn’t too bad at all, and

I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter.

 

We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I’d ever had a Sportsman’s

Double. ‘What’s that?’ I asked.

 

‘It’s a mother and daughter threesome,’ she said. As my mind began to

embrace the idea, I wondered what her daughter really looked like, so I said,

‘No, I haven’t.’

 

We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, ‘Tonight’s your lucky

night’. So we went back to her place. She turned on the hall light and shouted

upstairs, ‘Mom, you still awake?’

Shoulda Worn Depend

Dilemma in Scotland