Seniors are not the only ones who have trouble paying attention to what’s going on.

First-year students at the Purdue Vet School were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, “In Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor.

The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal’s body.” For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth.

“Go ahead and do the same thing,” he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow, then puling it out and putting it in his mouth.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, “The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life’s tough but it’s even tougher if you’re stupid.”

A fellow Senior packs it in. Here’s what they’re saying:

• Cutbacks are everywhere. Even God is laying off people

• Pope resigned the other morning. What’s a pope called when resigns at breakfast time? . . . Ex Benedict

• Now we know what he’s giving up for Lent

• You can donate to his retirement fund by using his Papal account

• Huffington Post is asking: “Anyone out there remember the last pope’s resignation — in 1415? We’d love to have you on.”

• How many women will be candidates to replace him? . . . Nun

——  [Read more…]

A gentleman in his mid eighties walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.

He is very well-dressed, smelling slightly of an expensive after-shave, hair well-groomed, great-looking suit, flower in his lapel. He presents a suave, well-looked-after image.

Seated at the bar is an elderly fine-looking lady.

The gentleman walks over, sits along-side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, “So tell me, good looking, do I come here often?”

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Amazon books etc.

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